Here’s the deal!
It’s taken me just about 32 years to learn 31 valuable lessons! Right, somethings take a lifetime to learn and I’m sure I’ll evolve and learn more as I grow, but these 31 things I’ve learned and walked away from deserve to be shared! What’s the point of taking information with you if you can’t share it??
Everyone isn’t me! Simple. I’ve learned to stop acting like everyone holds the same level of character, integrity, and discipline as I do. They don’t. Not because they’re bad people but because they’re not me!
I’m walking away from toxic dysfunctional functional people! What?? Notice, I threw them all in there. However; These are folks that hide their dysfunction only to make it reappear in everyday aspects with the expectation that you won’t catch on to their crazy...I do and I have. I’m leaving all that alone.
I’m walking away from self care & focusing in on self love! These are two completely different concepts. Self care is more maintenance than self love. Why?? Because self care is temporary. Self love is permanent! When I decided to love me I made time for me.
Lack of consistency - I refuse to not be consistent in any of my ventures. I’ve realized that lack of consistency’s directly tied into your belief. You can’t be consistent with something you don’t believe in. I believe in me which means I have to go hard for myself and I have to show up consistently.
Justifying toxic people and behaviors - they have to go! Often, I make excuses for people that I know are toxic and blame their behaviors on their inability to deal with their negative issues. Nah! People know exactly what they’re doing and I’m no longer taking part in that.
The need to apologize for being me - I love me. Often, I’ve apologized for being oblivious, loud, goofy, and in some cases I’ve reduced myself down to compensate for my huge personality. No more! I’m not sorry!
Imposter syndrome - this desire to feel as though I am doing to much, to fast, to often - it’s done. I will no longer self sabotage myself.
Relationships that don’t lift me - simple terms... I’m losing and leaving all drainers.
Offering counsel that’s not accepted - sometimes you just have to let folks learn. You’ll stress yourself out dealing and offering unsolicited advice. Just take it and go... I’m good with that.
Negative self talk - I noticed that I can be my own worst critic. I’m learning to simply love me. At any size. Any day. Any hair. Any style. Any outfit. Anytime. I refuse to not focus on kind words with myself. I can’t put that energy out there and expect it not to return somewhere. I’m lifting myself up so I don’t have to worry about anyone else doing it.
Rollercoaster emotions - the up and down moments will always remain but allowing it to shift my day and weeks. I’m taking control over those days and won’t ride the wave.
Not taking my own advice - most days I’m really good at honoring my word. I don’t teach what I don’t do or what I haven’t lived. However, when it comes to people and sacrifice - I have to practice what I preach In every area. Including the hard areas.
Disrupted peace - yup. Self explanatory. Anything that disturbs my souls. I’m immediately removing it and myself from it.
Trying to control things I can’t control - I’ve decided to just let it and let folks be. Simple. If it’s not directly something I can shift - I can’t be bothered.
Obligated feelings to things I’m not obligated to - I’ve discovered I owe nothing to anyone but God. Now, I’ll always have my integrity. I’ll always work to develop my character and heart matters but I’m not obligated to stay somewhere with someone based on the situation. If it’s not good - it’s not good. For example, I won’t be tolerating behavior from people because I’ve known them for 10+yrs. That’s over! It’s not healthy and it doesn’t serve me.
Validation through worldly ventures - meaning, looking for acceptance and praise from ventures that aren’t spiritual. My source is God. Not man. I’ll not praise men for opportunities that derive from God. I’ve been great at this prior to but I’ve had moments. I want to seek to make sure I never give man an opportunity to say - they did it for me when I know it’s God.
Not speaking up when the opportunity presents Itself - I’ll not let anything or anyone pass me up or make me think I can’t do. If I’m qualified - I’m qualified, and honestly even if I’m not qualified, I’m qualified. I’m going for it anyway!
Pouring into things that don’t fill me up or pour into me - simple. I’m keeping that same energy with myself. I’m not giving what I get. I’m not staying where it’s not given. Period. How about I just not be in anything that doesn’t pour into me.
Loyalty to unloyal people - no need to sit with folks that wouldn’t sit with me!
Not pursuing adventures - being afraid to do things simply because I’m afraid. I’m doing it and doing it big.
Lack of creativity - sometimes I would get stifled bc I was afraid I was being to creative or afraid of what people would say about my creative ways! Nope. It’s time to flourish. What makes me different is what makes me awesome.
Saying what I want and need to advance - this is critical to me! I need to be able to speak up for myself when I know what I want. Having the expectation that folks will is no longer beneficial.
Allowing people to walk all over me knowingly - I’m done with that!
Begging or chasing of any kind - no point. If it’s mine, it’s mine.
Questioning self worth or if I deserve my blessings. My answer - I do and I am.
Not seeing that I am the opportunity and am not in need of opportunity - I’m creating my own lane. I’m secure and I’m blessed. I am the sauce.
Inconsistent confessions and prayer life. I’ve got to fine tune this area of my life. I can’t get so busy that I simply half do this when it’s my lifeline.
Eating out to much - sometimes I’m lazy and I need to be more intentional about what I eat. Plus, it’ll save me lots of money!
Expectations - I have sometimes very far fetched expectations. I simply need fo release these when it comes to people. Having no expectations will allow me to see things and people for what it is instead of what I want. That’s important to me so that I’m it caught in a cycle of abuse.
Comparisons - it’s so easy to look at someone’s life and think man, I’m slacking or Geesh - why can’t that be me? I’ve discovered that whatever you’re looking at won’t happen for you bc it’s not your path. Other things will happen for you that are designed for you in the right time - you just have to be patient.. When we compare we steal from ourselves. We invite negativity in because we’re so busy putting energy into the side eye of comparison. I’m no longer doing this. My path and journey is mine. It’s great and it’s good. I’ll take my portion, run and enjoy it.
Not being a savage when it comes to life! I’m here for everything God wants to give to me. I’ll have what I speak and desire so I’m at it.