The Journey Back to Self..

It’s interesting how sometimes I have so much to say but have the least bit interest in sharing. I used to hear often that the older you get the least you have to say. Maybe it’s because I realized we’re all a work in progress or maybe it’s because I realize that people are people and they tend to do what they want. Either way, I’ve remained silent. I started blogging because I had so much to share. I was so passionate about saving the world and helping everyone get to a better place in life and somewhere along the lines, It has come to my discovery that I simply can’t do it all.. Easier said than understood. I can’t lie - it still hurts to know that folks are out here hurting, failing, and are stagnate by their own hands. It sucks to know that no matter how may times you show them, tell them, beg and plead with them that they just won’t move. They won’t change and sometimes won’t even see the problem. I am finally to a place where I accept this and welcome this new idea of helping those that simply want to be helped. I no longer seek to aid people that I THINK need my help, I help people that THINK they need help now. Besides, it’s the only way they’ll grow anyhow.

I’ve been on this personal journey for a long time and although, I know I won’t arrive - I am confident in my ability to move forward in the things I need to move in. Somewhere in between reality, transformation, and life I found myself lost. Not lost in action or even thought, lost in deed. I didn’t want the responsibility, the actions, the inner struggles etc. I didn’t want accountability nor did I want to deal with the growth that was taking place in my life. I wanted to sit and be idle and mediocre. It seemed cool at first, but over time it caused me to question my inner self. The person that I knew, was no longer the person I wanted to be. What happened to her? She became numb and angry with the outside. She became frustrated to see those be their own demise. I started to see things differently and it made me standoff to my purpose. I almost rejected it. I placed bumpers, boundaries, and walls up where I knew they didn’t need to be. I began to take on assignments that I knew I shouldn’t. I started to lower my expectations of self and with people thinking it was okay until one day it dawned on me. I am here for a purpose. There are people circling around waiting on me to get it together. Waiting on me to accept the call. Waiting on me to excel and move past my issues to save the next. I realized that my life speaks volumes and I had been taught better. That everything that has EVER happened to me, happened to be a testimony for someone else.

Our purpose is constantly changing! It isn’t one way, or one thing, or one action, and sometimes not even related to one purpose. When I realized this - things shifted. I got clear, I felt good, and my spirit was reconciled. I had to of course go back and repent and clean things up. The turmoil associated with being idle changed. I realized who I was. I was beautiful inside and out, my life was already done, my success was already granted and NO one could take that away from me . I had to take time to get my life in order and clear the air. The center of my life was the very thing I was running from. For me, it’s my spiritual connection. Jesus. Its the very thing that I loved and needed to excel in life. Nothing else matters to me than to do the work assigned to me and to do it well. I realized I had to reboot - I needed to get back to the basics .I needed to get my life and spirit in check! I had to make my apologies known and I had to forgive myself enough to move forward. I did this.. That didn’t change my immediate situation, but it def changed my perspective. I LOVE God. I LOVE people. I LOVE my calling and I shall execute it daily.

What’s holding you back? What’s keeping you from excelling in life? What is the one thing that you haven’t released? Your breakthrough is directly tied to your praise and perspective. It’s defiantly tied to your accountability and transparency! I am always honest simply because what else do I have. We’ve all been abused, lied to, lied on, broken and praise God healed.. Whatever your connection is or to - keep it. It will always place you on self correct. Now, there are things that need to be addressed if your behavior and mind aren’t right (seek professional help if needed) but do what do you need to get back on track! Whatever that is - do it.. Do it now, do it fast, and do it faithfully.. We’re no where without the thing that pushes us. Thank God for Grace. I look forward to hearing your breakthrough!


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