Am I Really Back?
Wow, I can't believe it's been a year or so since I last wrote a blog post. It's wild because I had to take some time off - not sure if I intended to be off this long, but I think it was needed. 2020 allowed me to reflect back on my overall life. I think it did this unintentionally for many and it is my belief that the reflection did everyone some parts of good. I had to recap my vision and purpose. I had to really define what was happening in this next season sort to speak. Truthfully, life just like business is always evolving and who you are at that moment is NOT an indication of who you're going to be. When I set out to accomplish a goal - I usually CRUSH it.. but, in past years, I wasn't crushing goals rather bathing in them. I was sitting being mediocre. I had become comfortable with the "ok" sentiments which inadvertently caused me to neglect the things and why's I had created when I just started.
It's so easy to do - when you've fought for so long the moment you get a chance to rest - you do just that. Rest. At least, that's what I called it all the while it was settling, compromising, becoming stagnate and simply sitting in my whatever you call it. This year, I went back to the basic's as I have said I have done before. Except this basic revisit was to fill the gaps in my heart. For almost 365 days, I got to know myself better, I was able to focus on my family time and able to search my soul. I did a mass overhaul and considered my WHY in every area of my life. I stopped treating my purpose and vision like a side -piece and decided to make it my main piece. I owe this to my vision, mission, purpose, and calling.. Often, I think we're sitting in complacency because it feels good to have a constant. A constant schedule, life, and routine. It feels good to project and forecast based on what we "know" but the truth is - every step, every person, every season should be healthy challenge. It should push you to the edge of yourself. It should spark BIG dreams, BIG goals, BIG task etc. and maybe, just maybe, place you in slight panic (until you reel yourself in) because you wonder what and how can I do this? It really should force you to tap into your faith, push you beyond comfort, and be the driving force of your decisions as each one should push you closer to the goal.
This life isn't for the faint at heart. Your investment is going to be required and your buy in will be needed each step of the way even when you don't know the reason why or how or if it'll even make sense. Life isn't full of delivered roses - that would be easy. It would make it predictable and uneventful. Imagine, every day you have the ability to know what time, person and color flowers would be delivered to your home? At first, it would be cool - but eventually, it would get old. You would want to see or smell something different. You would eventually run out of cool greetings and slogans. Then you would resort to missing the deliveries, you wouldn't answer the door, and one day you would begin to question - is that it? Are there no other colors? No other person? No other nothing - man.. the reality is you would feel robbed. All the beauty in the world and you're stuck with the one colored rose?
That's precisely how I began to feel - I thought this can't be it. There has to be more! Truth is, there is more and you've been called to more. To do more, love more, care more, pursue more, engage more, etc. no matter where you are and what level you're on - MORE is what you're supposed to do.. just in timing and with more wisdom..
What is your more? Where are you settling or compromising? What can you do in this season that takes you back to you original position? It's time to consider where and what you're living for. No one is wise in their own strength - it takes diligence, commitment, and a constant revamp your soul to pursue the deeper parts of your heart.